OK. I suck. I suck bad. I have no idea what PHP, MySQL or any of the other stuff involved in igShop is. I have no idea how to install it. i have followed instructions up to and including 5, but am now stuck.

I have Win2000 Pro (The cr?me de la cr?me from Microsh*t, which is saying something I can tell you. I hate them. Indeed, "Has to use Microsh*t" is another degree for Dante's Inferno.), and am installing igShop on my free hosting with http://www.freehostia.com/ using SmartFTP v2.0 Unlicensed.

Can anyone help please?

Many thanks.

Peter Karnal.

P.S. Yes I know that my rhyme is very, very bad, so unless you want to see me turn a one syllable word into a six syllable one, I re-e-e-e-eally don't want to know.

P.P.S. Yes that was from Scrubs.